I'm not gonna do it

who did that

326,267 notes


One time in sixth grade I was being bullied really badly, and this whole circle of people gathered around me and the girl that was bullying me, and she smirked and went ‘You dumb rich bitch.’ And everyone was like OOOOOOH and I stood there for a second before pulling 20 dollars out of my wallet, placed it in her hand, and said “Buy some better insults.” And I swear the entire lunchroom rioted.

(via prince-of-buttsex)

16,548 notes

Warning, the following is a graphic image:



If you adopt a stray, formerly chained adult male pit bull and bring him in your house do NOT let him around your kids. It is dangerous. He is going to want to cuddle all day. Your kids will stop listening to you because they are “busy loving Oscar”. He is unstable. We never know when he is going to kiss one of us or try to crawl in our laps. We know this image is hard to look at but we thought America should know the truth about this dangerous dog. - Oscar’s Family

(Source: facebook.com, via scarredsilver)

39,458 notes


If you want to be friends with me you don’t have to be “Hi, um, can, ya know, we be friends?”

It is 1000000000000000000000% percent ok if you just go into my inbox can go. “Man, I am so fucking pissed off at fucking Larry.” And I’ll most likely respond with, “Oh shit! What did Larry do now?” 

(via olkenearthsinger)

4 notes


Filed under egg video mundane please watch this

122 notes


"Oh my god dudes we found scraps of rabbit and the place smells like dog I bet a dog was here I am 100% certain it was a dog no doubt about it"

"Wow two of our apprentices were mauled by something— one killed— and the place smelled like dog but idk what did it??? I mean fuck this is some serious mystery mauling"

(via einfahrts)

431,947 notes

When I was in the hospital
I was roomed with a schizophrenic
And she was the most gentle person I have ever met
There was a boy with a long deep slit across his neck
Who told very funny jokes
A girl who never spoke a word
Would draw the most beautiful pictures
The boy who shook with anxiety
Could hold the most intelligent conversations
Even the girl who screamed in her sleep and picked at her skin
Had a heart the size of the ocean
We are not who you think we are

(Source: dabhabit, via seapancake)